CUT THE NOISES WHEN ANGRY

"Eliminate the adjectives and you will get the facts." – [Harper Lee, ‘To kill a mockingbird’].

Once I read a very interesting description of a test (or a game) to be performed by two persons:

• The first person must have the eyes folded and would be responsible for shooting a gun.
• The second one would be responsible for giving the proper instructions so the first can hit the target.
• Then, after a determined time frame both change the roles.

Note: This test can also be performed without guns, the eyefolded person walking from A to B and the other one giving the proper instructions so the first one can reach the target spot.

It seems very simple, isn't it?

Well, the tests made with a group of people were surprising. The anger of the people involved emerged rapidly and the fights came inevitable, mostly because of the inappropriate language used by them ("hey, you dull, I have said just a little to the left and you have turned the gun too much, you fool"). This can be called as "noise" in the communication.

When there are noises, one tends to be distracted, even loosing the ability to listen to the speaker and to keep rational.

In this way, it is important in our relationships to cut all the noises due to get the core information of the communication.

One of the words used in Japanese language that means "to eliminate" is "HABUKU" ( 省く). But there is another reading (therefore another meaning as well) to this ideogram: "KAERIMIRU" ("look back", in the sense of "reflect upon oneself").

Well, the original concept of this ideogram was life (above) combined with the eye (below). Afterwards, the concept was changed to the image of an eyebrow above the eye because adorning the eyebrow was believed to increase the mystical power of seeing. In those ancient time, turn around with eyebrows properly adorned (therefore using this mystical power) fitted just well this preliminary kanji's meaning "looking around carefully". However, they realized that by doing this one should took off all the things that must be thrown away and this perception originated the meaning "to eliminate".

I can not help by thinking that it is a key action to ELIMINATE in order to GET the point. Maybe here lays the start point to pursuit a good communication!

Less is more, definitely.

PLAIN AND EASY CAN BE MORE

Sometimes the most unthinkably plain thing has magical power to change every other things.

In November 2008 Master Morimoto, a Japanese reference of Shodou (“the way of writing”), has visited Brazil for a workshop. Besides the beautiful writings he has performed to the students, I was very surprised to know how we should dissolve the sumi, a solid black material that must be rubbed in water over the suzuri (a heavy ink container), to produce the black ink which is used for writing.

I had learned about Shodou at Japanese School when I was young and I recovered this kind of art about five years ago.

Ever since I have believed that one should rubber the sumi in the vertical position, perpendicular to the suzuri. I remember clearly (as an impatient child that I was), I always poured water generously (which means completing the suzuri almost fully) and rubbed the sumi very hard, with considerable force due to turn the water as quickly as possible to obtain a nice black ink. For this reason, not rare were the incidents with ink dropping out the suzuri because of the strength in rubbing the sumi.

Well, at that workshop Master Morimoto told us we should pour just five or six drops of water in the rubbing surface of suzuri and rubbles the sumi very GENTLY, the sumi being fully inclined (almost in the horizontal position) due to get the finest ink possible.

That was new for me. It was exactly the opposite way I was used to do! Master Morimoto confirmed to us: yes, this process can take almost an hour to get the ink (and very few of it, of course), but he assured that the result will be the finest possible.

This discovery made me think that the finest articles were not necessarily result of great efforts. Sometimes, plain PATIENCE and DISCIPLINE can do the work. I was used to believe that all the best things require great efforts, hardship and skill. But there are top quality things that are made easily and softly.

This also reminds me a gipsy wisdom explained to me from a dear friend: gipsy people used to say that TALENT is anything one does EASILY (with no difficulty). If one spends great effort to do something, then it can not be called a talent.

I tend to despise all my abilities that are easy to me and pursuing the ones I have no skill believing that these are worthy than those (my natural ones). Of course I must develop other skills to evaluate myself, but this is entirely different from despising them.

Time has come to worth better my own natural talents, that´s what I know for sure.

In Japanese, simple, plain and easy can be translated as YOUI ( 容易). The first kanji [容] means contain, form, allow; the second [易] means easy, renew and transform.

I would like to discuss the second kanji. This ideogram (kanji) is the figure of the sun (above) and the sunlight (below). Sunlight was believed by ancient Japanese to have the power to transform objects therefore the meaning of “transform”. Also, the sunlight occurs with such an ease, that they related this ideogram to the meaning of “easy” as well.

ISN’T IT INTERESTING TO THINK THAT AN EASY THING CAN ALSO TRANSFORM AND RENEW?

I surely must pay more attention to my plain skills, must not I?

MOTTAINAI

One can not “save” or “spare” any experience for the future. Experiences follow the transformation’s rule: they will not be the same anymore as it would be in the past time when they should have been felt.

Back in late 80s, when I was attending the college I started working as a freelancer in translation jobs. Due to be more “professional” I bought a PC and a printer, using them just like a fancy typewriting machine.

I remember that these equipments were so expensive and so special that everybody in my family looked at them as almost sacred objects, therefore completely untouchable. No one but me could use it, and even so, just for the work sake… I used to turn it on, do my job and, immediately, shut it down.

At that time internet was not as developed as it is today yet and PC applications were not assorted either. However, even so my younger brothers and I should have used and explored all the full appliances and possibilities that PC could offer. We did not. What if that complex (and expensive) machine broke? Who would fix it? What if it could NOT be fixed? And if it could be fixed, how much it would cost? No! Certainly it would be VERY expensive. It was better not to be adventurous nor play with such a luxurious gadget. We could not afford it.

It was MOTTAINAI ( 勿体無い).

This is a very common expression in Japanese which means 1) “be too good for one, be more than one deserves, be unworthy of”, or 2) “wasteful”.

Well, it explains our behavior. We did think we were not worthy using that machine; it was too good for us to enjoy it; we did not deserve it…

That is why I am still reluctant to use my best clothes everyday and SAVE them only for the very special occasions. I keep the crystals locked in the cupboard and use them only in festive occasions (Christmas, New Year and East) or when I have guests.

I wonder why I ended up thinking so badly about myself that made me BELIEVE I am unworthy being surrounded by beautiful things.

Maybe the limitating thought that I am incapable of having more of that object if it breaks could explain it. Or maybe I tend to be so LAZY that I believe it is better not to mess with it due to keep things exactly as they are now.

In the other hand, WHAT am I saving really? Is the object or the time/effort/trouble in case I loose it?

Well, I started thinking I shall do something about it, because I am loosing infinite opportunities of learning and experience by thinking MOTTAINAI.

I see the point of Japanese culture that we must take care of our objects, but it should be for ALL the objects, I mean, all our belongings should be equally important, beautiful, tasteful and wonderful, should not them? We should not buy or have anything unworthy for us. All our belongings should be exceptional and extraordinary (and we must have in mind exceptional and extraordinary do not mean “expensive” at all).

As a dear friend keep saying to me regarding to clothes: one should NOT have “home clothes” (that ones we use when we are at home and in which we are ashamed to be seen at public sight).

By the time I learn enjoying ALL my belongings as being extraordinary pieces, I am quite sure my entire life will be different and better.

So… why not to try it?